The News

Ok, so my delight for today: watching my son stare into my eyes and making him smile.  Everyone that knows or has known me always knew I was gonna be someone's mom one day.  Well that day is here and as tired as I can be or sad that the munchkin isn't sleeping...I'm loving every minute of it!

My dilemma continued from last night. So we've been back in Texas for over a year now.  I haven't found a full-time job and my social life is null and void.  Both things are partly due to the fact that I've either been pregnant or a new mom the whole time we've been here, but not completely...just partly. I had friends from high school that I thought I'd reconnect with but that hasn't happened at all.  One friend from law school (the person who helped me meet hubby) happens to live about 15 minutes down the street...but I don't WANT to kick it with her.  She and I get along well, etc. but I don't want to go shopping with her, or get my nails done with her or whatever.  I miss my Boo in SD.

I started teaching in January and that is pretty awesome! I've always been a bit of a teacher, but now that is my job.  Of course it's only part time and Lord knows they don't pay you for all the things you have to do! I've made one friend at the job and we were pregnant together and our sons are 5 days apart.  She lives near the school though and I commute from 25 miles away so she's a great work friend.

My best friend and his wife (also my really good friend) visited from SD at the end of July.  After they left, the hubby sat me down and said he thought I might have been depressed but now he's sure of it.  He said he finally saw ME again when our friends were visiting and he wanted me to have that again.  I have such a great network of friends in SD that he knows I need to be back with them.

Also, I still remain really close to my old boss and my best friend still works there and keeps me posted on all things from the office.  So hubby says to find out about getting my job back cuz he wants to go back to SD.  After much praying and budget-reviewing, I have to agree that this might be the best course of action.  If I can get my job back, we'd be much better off financially.  I'm all about saving with this munchkin.

So I break the news to Momma last Sunday.  She immediately goes on the defense, "What makes you think you can get your job back? I thought it was really expensive there? Ya'll will be so far away!"  After responding to the first two questions, my third response was basically, what difference would that make.  The frequency with which they visit now with me only a little over an hour away seems like they have to plan a month in advance and buy two plane tickets, rent a car and reserve a hotel!  I didn't say that part, but for real!

She got all quiet and when we pulled into my garage I looked back and she was crying.  She then immediately tells Dad she's ready to go and they are gone within 3 minutes flat!  I'm like, oh you're so upset that we might be leaving in the future but you bail on another chance to hang out with your grandson!

I feel like I've beat a dead horse on that now.  Good.  That means it's out.  The bottom line is we may be moving next month or next year.  It is all a function of me getting a full time job.  We can't keep living paycheck to paycheck with a mini-me in the house now. 

Will I miss my mom and my sister, you ask. Of course I will.  2 points on that issue.

1: When I lived in SD and missed my mom and Isha I was ok.  Living here and missing my Boo and best friend and others, I've been depressed and not ok.

2: In SD, I know that I'll still get to see Isha. I'll blog about our relationship one day, but suffice it to say that from the day she was born we were attached at the hip.  If I have another child, or adopt one, I will pray that God makes them as close as she and I are, even through the drama.

On that note, the munchkin is asleep and the hubby is finally having some man-time.  I'm going to bed. Holla!