Ok, so here I've begun my first blog. It's I guess an online diary that I won't mind people using against me at some point later in my life...What I intend to do is describe at least 1 thing I'm delighted about and 1 thing that has puzzled me or given me pause for the day.
Delight: Junior has learned to roll and is doing it from the "tripod" sitting position! This made my day. Then, after his bath, I put my hands out to pick him up and he reached for me!!! Two milestones in one night. This certainly made up for me not getting home until 7:50 this evening.
Dilemma: Oh where do I begin? It's 5 til 11 so I know I won't get this all out tonight but I have to start the cleanse. In 2006, I moved back to San Diego with the full intention of returning "home" to Texas. After all, my mom and baby sister are here. So 3 years later, super happily married, the hubby gets a nice job and we move to Arlington to be closer to my mom and stepdad (Dad) and my baby sister, Isha. Mind you, I had to quit my super-well paying full-time job.
I find out 1 month before the move that Isha will be moving 2 1/2 hours away because her current spouse was being stationed at Fort Hood. No biggie, with gas money, I know I'll see Isha. Momma starts talking about how we'll get to spend all this time together and we'll do tons of girl stuff. We get all moved in and guess what? We're pregnant! Momma says she's so glad I'm close and she's gonna come see me all the time. She can't wait til the munchkin gets here so she can spoil him rotten. Come beginning of this year she starts talking about staying with us for a week when Junior is born and coming to visit all the time so she can watch her grandson grow. I am ecstatic about this and tell anyone who will listen about all the things my Momma and I are gonna do when my son gets here.
Fast forward to the first week of April. Junior was due in May. Momma starts backtracking. Oh, she's not gonna stay with us a week because she wants the hubby and I to have time to bond with Junior. Um...are you freaking kidding me right now? You are my Mommy for God's sake! You HAVE to be there to help me!!!! Oh well, you have your hubby so I know you'll be ok, she says. And so it begins. Somehow, because I have a happy and stable relationship I deserve less from her. Bull-pucky.
Then April 17th rolls around. Dad has had a couple of relatives die up in East St. Louis (1 really old, the other just regular old). He's going to the funeral the following weekend and plans to leave on April 21st. Momma and Dad come to visit that weekend and Momma gets down on the floor, grabs my super swollen tummy and says, "Oh God he's dropped! You are having him soon." I'm not getting my hopes up at this point because I'd been having so many freaking Braxton Hicks contractions, I had decided my child was just gonna grow up inside my womb!
Now considering her statement, I'm like, are you sure you wanna go so far away Mommy? She's reluctant, but has to be there for her husband she says. I GUESS! So, I try to reassure her (that's who I used to be, the make-you-feel-better-even-though-you-SHOULD-feel-like-crap person) that Junior will surely wait for their return on Sunday. So they hit the road on Wednesday afternoon and they drive about 8 hours. Of course my water breaks in the wee hours of Thursday morning.
Once the nurse has confirmed that I didn't just start peeing on myself, I called to let Mommy know it was time. We chat for a little bit about my water breaking, etc. and then she says something like, "Well I'm glad you have your hubby there. Isha should be able to make it too right?" I'm a very analytical person, so I picked up on what she was getting at right away. I burst into tears, sobbing really, because I wanted my mommy there.
She gives some load of crap to hubby about how it will be hard on Dad to turn around. Are you freakin kidding me? It would be harder to turn around than to drive almost the same distance the next morning to greet the dead people? I mean, they aren't getting any deader, but your grandchild is making his debut at any given moment (or hour as it was). So then it was, I'm gonna have your Dad bring us by the house when we get back in town on Sunday. Nevermind Junior was already 3 days old and already looked different than his birthday by then.
So Sunday rolls around and Momma had been hinting that Dad didn't want to have to drive all the way to our place (an extra 1 1/2 hours) after all that traveling. In my mind, I'm like, he'll surely get over that to meet his new grandson. Yeah, not so much! On Sunday, Momma says the traveling has been too much on Dad so they're not gonna make it. And oh, by the way, her students had testing that week (that she couldn't help them with so why did she need to be there) so she wouldn't be able to take off to come see Junior.
I'm like, this is not happening. This is unreal! So the first time she sees my child is when he is 8 DAYS OLD! Unacceptable. Then Dad dropped her off and picked her up on Sunday after church. All the while, Momma is talking about how much she's gonna come down to visit because she wants Junior to be as close to her as I am to my Granny. Well, Momma being the overachiever and under-thinking-things-through person she is doesn't consider how Dad conveniently scheduled his hip surgery for the first Monday Momma was out for the summer, she adds to this flying my grandparents in for 2 weeks, keeping Isha's kids for 1 week of that AND the fact that the world revolves around whatever is going on at my Dad's church at that moment. So she's been to my house 5 times since Junior was 8 days old...no, seriously.
I, still trying to be the people-pleaser, traipse my infant son back and forth to my mom's house where he didn't sleep well and was constantly being over-stimulated, trying to make sure Momma saw him and Granny and Papa saw him. When the g-parents left, I explained to Momma and Dad we wouldn't be back up there for a while because Junior has to get into a routine in a familiar place. I guess she thought I was joking.
So here's the deal: Isha and I have had some resentment towards Dad since he came on board, not because of the standard step-parent issues (well not just because of that for Isha), but because Momma completely lost her voice when they got together. Even before he was a Pastor, I guess she was so worried he'd cheat, she never wanted to leave him alone. So if he didn't want to do it, she wasn't going anywhere. Mind you, he is a total homebody and unemotional being. So while she's saying she wants to come see Junior, he can't see what the big deal is because we'll be here. She starts falling into that rut of, well if something happens I can get to her because she's just 1 1/2 hours away...no longer a plane ride. Um, don't take me for granted!
Even this past Labor Day weekend, she hadn't seen Junior in over 3 weeks but her plans were to go see her cousin first. Well Dad was like, that's enough driving then because the 1 1/2 hours is so far away. She had to pitch a fit to come see Junior! Now what kind of relationship do ya'll have that you have to tell him you want to go see your grandson. Are you kidding me?
So I had to break the news to her. She didn't take it well.
To be continued...
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